Mindless Christmas Fic
by Videogurl
Summary: It's Xmas time and the Pilots decide to have a White Elephant party. Everybody is invited but things soon end up way different then they had planned. BTW, relena bashing


Mindless Christmas Fic  
  
by FireFly  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. If I did, I would get rid of Relena. I don't like her. Relena: How could you say something like that about me? FireFly(FF): Do me a favor, put a plastic bag over your head and inhale deeply.  
  
Warnings: Relena bashing. And a few bad words thrown in too.  
  
All the G-boys were sitting around a large Christmas tree waiting for their guests to arrive. Duo had conned the other guys into celebrating Christmas with him and done all the work to have a Christmas party. He had also invited several people, like Hilde, Sally, Dorothy, Relena(G-boys: Boo. FF: Hey. Keep it down. I'm trying to write a fic here.),Catherine, and just for the hell of it, Zechs and Treize. When he found out who had been invited, Quatre had asked Duo why he had invited Treize and Zechs. "Why not?" was the only reply Quatre received.  
  
When the time for the party arrived, the guests started to show up.  
  
The first ones at the door were Relena and Dorothy, both carrying one gift each. (FF: Did forget to mention this was a white elephant party? Wufei: Yes you did. FF: Oops. Gomen.) They each took a number and went into the sitting room where the tree was set up. As soon as Relena enter the room she spotted Heero and latched onto him.  
  
"HHHEEEEEEERRROOOO!!!! I'VE MISSED YOU SOOO MUCH!!!" By this point, everyone, especially Heero, was deaf in at least one ear.  
  
"Oww. Hey, did ya have to yell so loud?" Duo clutched his right ear which had been right next to the banshee when she had wailed.  
  
"Relena, let go of me," Heero growled at the annoying girl who was doing a very good impression of a leech on his arm at that moment. He was not in the mood to deal with her right now.  
  
"Miss Relena, why don't you let go Heero for a second." Quatre tried to reason with the girl. He really didn't want blood on the carpet. "Could you help me in the kitchen? Please?"  
  
Relena wasn't about to let go but something told it would be a lot healthier to go with the blonde pilot right now. (Duo: That certain something wouldn't happen to be you, would it? FF: Um, no? Duo: Sure. Whatever.) "Of course, Quatre." Relena let go of Heero's arm and followed Quatre into the kitchen.  
  
Heero rubbed his arm where the leech had been attached. He really didn't like that girl.  
  
Not long after that the rest of the guests arrived. Each of them made their way into the dinning room when dinner was announced. After much fighting and bickering from Relena, she finally sat down in between Zechs and Dorothy, and not next to Heero where she wanted to be. Dinner went alright, except for the threats with a gun and the screeching. Afterwards, they group moved into the siting room where the Christmas tree was set up and all of the presents were.  
  
"Okay, you each know how a white elephant party goes?" Duo asked everyone, who all nodded. "Alright, whoever has the number one will go first then we'll go down the line. Alright? Whoever has the number one can go."  
  
Duo sat down next the Quatre and Trowa as Hilde got up and grabbed a medium sized present wrapped in green and gold paper with a gold ribbon tied around it. She opened to find a rather interesting surprise. Inside was a pink dog collar with spikes on it and a leash attached to it. Hilde just blinked at it then said, "Whoever this is from, thanks. I think."  
  
The next one to go and get a present was Treize. He grabbed a red box with blue ribbon around it. He opened it to reveal a toaster. "I didn't expect to receive a major appliance for Christmas, but thank you anyway." (FF: You know what? Trowa: What. FF: I got a major appliance for Christmas from my Oba-san. She gave me a microwave. What does that tell you when that happens??? Trowa: It's time to move out? FF: Shut up.) He settled back into his seat and watched as the others went.  
  
When everyone had gone and received a gift, there had been some very interesting items. The present ranged from a beautiful silver picture frame that Zechs had gotten, to a box of rather explicit things that poor Quatre had received. Went Quatre asked who the gift had been from, no one said a word but Catherine was trying her damnedest not to laugh. (SF: Gee, I wonder who brought it. Bet you didn't see that one coming.)  
  
After the gifts, everyone had settled down and were talking to each other. The only problem was that Relena was still bothering Heero and he was slowly beginning to want to shoot the air headed bitch. Heero told her countless times to leave him alone, but she wouldn't take the hint. Finally at one point, Relena was being so annoying, that Heero pulled his gun on her.  
  
"Now, now, Heero. You don't really want to shoot her, do you?" Quatre tried to reason with him. Heero nodded his head vigorously. "Come on, Heero, just put the gun down. We don't want to ruin the party."  
  
"Oh, Heero, you are such a flirt," Relena cooed. (FF: *shudders* If Heero doesn't shoot her, I will.) That was it. Heero began to pull back the trigger when Trowa attempted to pull the gun out of Heero's hand and it went off. Killing Relena on the spot. (*Hallelujah chorus plays* FF: *looking around* What in the Hell...? Where is that coming from?)  
  
The others just look on as Relena lay lifeless on the floor spilling blood on the carpet. After a few moments, everyone just turned back to each other and continued their conversations.  
  
After everyone had left, the G-boys went back into the sitting room and just stared at the body.  
  
"What should we do with it?" asked Duo.  
  
"I'm tried. Let's worry about it in the morning." Wufei said as he made his way up the stairs to him room.  
  
"Wu-man's right. Let's just go to bed," Duo said while rubbing his eyes. "Good night, everyone."  
  
And with that said, the G-boys made their way to their rooms for a good night's sleep, and not caring that they had left a dead body in their sitting room.  
  
~Owari 


End file.
